After hiring freeze, understaffed company posts listing for 'Chief Happiness Officer': 'I predict a whole bunch of mandatory fun'

Advertisement
  • Cheezburger Image 10639587072
  • My company's hiring freeze ended and the first role they posted was "Chief Happiness Officer"

    we've been understaffed for 8 months. people have been doing double the work, some burned out and quit, i burned through most of my savings just trying to decompress on weekends
  • and the freeze lifts and they post a Chief Happiness Officer role. full time. competitive salary. benefits. to make us happy. instead of just hiring for the 6 roles we actually needed
  • Commenters gave their opinions and takes.

    JamesMcC2 I predict a whole bunch of mandatory fun in your near future.
  • Independent-Two97 Ok but did you apply? Seems fun and your company sounds like if you get the job, recommending pizza parties and casual fridays will be satisfactory
  • TenTonSomeone They can either hire 6 people to fill in gaps (expensive!), or they can just hire ONE person to manage your happiness! It's simple economics. Us non c-suite folks would never understand.
  • MJblowsBubbles The title alone brings rage.
  • C
  • Zest724 We have a chief morale officer at work. That's not her real title, just what we call her. She walks around passing out candy to us, sticking whimsical magnets and googly eyes in odd places, and asking how we like the job.
  • snapnshred My current company is laying off key people, making really bad business. decisions, and is really hoping their tactic of making everyone "do more with less" will catch on. It is not.
  • Our GM said the other week that we'd all be much happier at work if "we focus on the company values and cut back on all the water cooler talks." Next Friday is my last day.
  • vasectomy7 Taking that position would be unbelievably stressful... a constant struggle to justify your existence and 1000% guarantee to be the first person fired at the next round of layoffs
  • tachycardiclVu These are the same kinds of people who would rather let good nurses quit than pay them properly and then end up paying traveling nurses 3-5x what they'd pay a regular employee. Get owned....I guess??
  • Gathering Circle The happiness officer is being hired so they can be tasked with increasing retention, but that will inevitably fail because they won't let him enact any changes. Instead he's the fall guy they can fire first.
  • obsoleteconsole Guarantee someone high up has a friend they want to give a cushy job to
  • Hexent_Armana God I hate companies that do this sh. And they almost always hire some annoying office girly who doesn't know how to read a room and shoves the resulting happiness of her lazy and low stress life in everyone's faces. Which of course only makes them more miserable.
  • I wish these companies would just pay a living wage and stop overworking their employees. That would make themah I of a lot more happy than a "Chief Happiness Officer".
  • neonninja304 This sounds like a scapegoat position. Just someone they can blame and fire to make it look like they are doing something.
  • itsagoodtime Good news is you'll burn through that money faster with mandatory fun week nights and week ends
  • Ok-Return7750 Brace yourself....or gird your loins or whatever saying is appropriate. You'll need to smile constantly.
  • Be forced to hum happy tunes. Be forced to attend birthday parties and Friday night drinks with people you hate. Any failures with result in HR write ups and disciplinary measures. So brace yourself....
  • Cats_Waffles Ooooo our boss brought in an expert at making staff happy once! Now we have to do all these bulls activities to make us boost our own moral, like monthly costume days, monthly potlucks, extra meetings,
  • arts and crafts at the mandatory after hours unpaid staff meeting, wearing jeans to work for a small fee, monthly secret santa, and mandatory door decorating.
  • She showed the superintendent and school board all the extra garbage she's been making us do and they gave her principal of the year, complete with a bonus.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article